DNA Miracle - Part 1

DNA Miracle - Part 1

Malachi 4:6
And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. 

 I think we don't know the true meaning of that scripture.  However, we are fortunate to live in the day that it is all being fulfilled.  When I used to think of that scripture, I figured it was only about Temple genealogy work.  Get as many names as possible and do Temple work for them.  That was it.  Well, here's the rest of the story...

I am adopted.  I was born in Idaho Falls, Idaho on Mother's Day, May 13, 1962 at the LDS Hospital (which has since been torn down), delivered by Dr. Harlan Smith, a good friend of my Dad's brother, Maurice Heninger, a Radiologist at the same hospital.  Knowing my parents wanted children, yet couldn't have any, my Uncle Maurice helped out and arranged through Dr. Smith for a baby that was available, due to the difficult circumstances of the birth mother.  I had known very little about her, only that she was a divorced woman who had previously had children and was not in a position to raise another.  That was it.  I didn't know her name or anything about her.  I had tried for many years at various times to try and see if it was possible to locate who she was, but always seemed to hit a dead end.  Private investigators, hospital or attorney records, asking my Mom, etc.  Nothing was of any help or gave me any leads.  So...I quit looking.  I am very happy and blessed to be a part of a wonderful adopted family, with parents who truly love me and a fantastic adopted sister.  I have a great life and had everything I ever needed to succeed in the world, and most of all blessed with a Testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Not knowing my birth mother was a missing piece in my life's puzzle, but I knew I would see her one day and I could wait for that glorious reunion.

In April, 2015, my wife RaLyn worked at the Gilbert Temple a few days a week.  One day she came home and told me that a lady at the Temple had told her about DNA testing that was available online for a nominal fee that could tell a person where they were from biologically.  I looked up the test on Ancestry.com and decided it would be fun to know where my biological ancestors are from and would give me more of a sense of closure towards my biological family unknowns.  So, I paid for the test, received a small test tube, sent it back and waited.  In a few months, I received the results in the form of a small map.

It was fun to actually know that I’m mostly Irish and British.  That was what I thought was the end of that experience, However, in mid December, 2015, I realized that I had a bunch of personal messages on Ancestry.com.  I hadn’t logged in for a long time, so I didn’t realize there were people sending messages regarding possible DNA match relations, such as 4th - 8th cousins, etc.  Distant relatives, based on my DNA and theirs matching to some degree get identified by the site and you are allowed to message them via the Ancestry.com system.  I responded to several that I was adopted and wasn’t aware of my biological family, so I couldn’t help them with genealogy or explain my relationship to them. One note was dated August 17, 2015 and was from a lady named Joyce.  Below is her note to me.

“Through the Ancestry DNA it was posted that you may be a 1st cousin to me. Although I do not recognize your last name in my tree. So I thought if you are interested and would begin to post your family tree maybe I could see where we are related. My father's last name is Neitzel and my mother's maiden name is Ward.

Thanks, Joyce :-)”

Well, I figured I’d respond to her, since the results mentioned that we were “Possible range: Close family - 1st cousins" Confidence: Extremely High.”  Here is my response to her on December 21, 2015.

“That is very interesting. I'm adopted, so I have no idea who my maternal family is or where they originated from.”

On January 1, 2016, Joyce replied back to me the following:

“Thank you for responding to my message. According to the DNA results it states: "Possible range: Close family - 1st cousins" Confidence: Extremely High. If you are interested, we can try and figure out where we connect, even though you were adopted. I was born and raised in Idaho. My mother's family [Ward] history comes mostly from North Carolina, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Germany. My fathers family [Neitzel] came from Connecticut, Prussia and Denmark. 

Let me know if you would like to pursue this and I will try to help you. I understand that since you were adopted you may not desire to find your natural family. If that's the case I will respect your privacy. 

Possible cousins, Joyce :-)”

It sounded to me like Joyce may really be related and could possibly look into any of her relatives who adopted a baby in 1962 in Idaho Falls.  This was good news and I was getting a little cautiously optimistic.  I responded to her that same day with the following:

“Joyce:  Thanks so much for responding. I would love your help. I was born in Idaho Falls, Idaho on May 13, 1962. I have no idea who my birth parents are. My name is via my adopted family and there is not even any birth parent information on my Birth Certificate. It's all changed to my adopted family. I am LDS and lived my first 5 years in Wisconsin, then grew up in Provo, Utah. I now live in Arizona and have been here for the past 28 years. I have really wanted to locate my birth family. If there is any way you can help, please let me know what I can do. About all I've ever learned is that I was born at the LDS Hospital (which is now gone) in Idaho Falls, to a divorced mother. I heard that she had already raised a family, got divorced, then had me and put me up for adoption. The OB/GYN who delivered me was a friend of my adopted Dad's brother, who was a Radiologist at the same hospital back in 1962. I have no other information. Look forward to your help. My email is mattheninger@###.com. Thanks!”

Sunday morning, January 3, 2016, I was in bed reading my email on my iPad when I came across the following email from Joyce.

“Dear Matt,

Thank you for responding again and for giving me all of your birth information.  As I lay awake early this morning... a vision of passed events came clearly into my mind and a strong impression pressed upon my heart. I hurriedly got on my computer and found your message. I know who you are.....I cried!   The information that you have given me matches exactly. You are my brother!!

When I was 12 years old my mother had a child out of wedlock, a boy. She had been divorced for many years and thought she had found someone who loved her. But when he found out she was pregnant he wanted nothing to do with her. Already having 5 children and living on welfare she had no other choice than to give the child up for adoption.  We lived in Idaho Falls on Lava Street when you were born. I was the only girl with 4 brothers. Two older and two younger. We are all active LDS. I am currently living in Spanish Fork, Utah. My oldest brother, Jim, lives in Shelley, Idaho, Dennis is in Midlothian, Texas, Jerry and David still live in Idaho Falls. Our parents are both deceased. Mom died in October 1992 of a massive stroke. She was only 70 years old. She often wondered about you.  You lived in Provo at the same time I was living in Orem. If I had only known then!

Can't wait to learn more about you!!     Joyce  :-)”

Holy cow!  I freaked out.  I immediately read this to RaLyn and then ran downstairs where I could type faster on my computer to respond to Joyce.  Here is what I wrote:

“Dear Joyce:

This is unbelievable!!!  I have to talk to you.  I have wanted to meet my birth family for sooooo long!  I have tried to search online, talked to private investigators, called the hospitals in Idaho Falls, talked to my Uncle who was able to place me with his brother for adoption via his friend, an OB/GYN who I believe delivered me, etc.  It's been a dead end every time.  Nothing worked.  I took the DNA test on Ancestry.com simply to see where my ancestors were from in Europe.  I had no idea it would lead to me finding you.  This is unreal.  I'm in total shock.  Would you be willing to talk with me via FaceTime or Skype sometime today?  Please let me know.  Also, I would love a picture of your/my mother.  Please send me one.  What is your last name and the name of your mother?   I hope you respond soon.  I'm overwhelmed.

Thanks,

Matt

P.S. My blog is online at http://azheninger.blogspot.com/  Feel free to take a look.  There are tons of pictures and history of my family from the past 8 or so years.  My cell number is 480-619-XXXX.  I was thinking about this and I bet the DNA match came across as "cousins" because we have different fathers.  Otherwise, I bet it would have been an even closer match!” 

I hoped it wouldn't be too long until Joyce responded, and I was right.  She replied soon after with the following note:

Dear Matt,

The Spirit works in amazing ways. I have told my oldest brother Jim about you and he wants to connect with you too. We both have access to Face Time and Skype. What time is does your church start? Mine starts at 1 PM, Jim's starts at 11 AM. Maybe we could connect this evening. Would that work for you?  Our mother's name is Lucile Mildred Ward, she was born on 6 June 1922 and raised in Blackfoot, Idaho. There are pictures of her on Ancestry and Family Search, but I can send some other ones to you.

I need to go now, but will re-connect with you later in the day!

Your sister, Joyce Neitzel Burgener  :-)

As I read Joyce's note, I thought to myself...ARE YOU KIDDING!?  I have to wait all day long until we are able to talk to each other???  I've been waiting for 53 years and I need to talk NOW!   Oh well, I could wait.  I had to.  In the mean time, during the day I was able to check out pictures of my Mom online.  I was thrilled that I look like her.  She's beautiful!  I'm handsome!  Thanks for the good looks Mom!  Hahahahahahahaha.

Pictures of Mom that were online and sent by Joyce the first day.

Lucile Mildred Ward

Side by side of Mom and me (when I was 2).  It's all in the eyes.

I was bouncing off the walls!!!!!
End Part 1